If you are emotionally challenged with anxiety, depression, bipolar, or obsessive-compulsive disorder and are Catholic you too can prepare for our Savior’s birth the Catholic way, through the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Communal penance services, those individual confessions in a group setting are often scheduled this time of year. They are the perfect setting for the emotionally challenged penitent.
The claustrophobic don’t have to enter a confessional. It’s wide open out there in the sanctuary. Yet you who have agoraphobia can still go into the softly lit enclosed private confessional. Socially phobic, are you? Confess behind a screen. (If there isn’t one, shame on the pastor for removing a good option for the terrified.) Finally, you who have generalized anxiety disorder can watch other people confessing. Focus on that instead of your internal anxious feelings and presto, courage.
Those of you plagued with excessive and irrational guilt, here are the facts. Of 7 billion people out there, all have sinned in some way. Your sins are worse, you say? Probably not but let God decide that. You’re depressed. You clearly can’t make a sound assessment.
After coming down from a manic high you can be horrified at what you have done. Let God, not you, decide how culpable you really are. You need a functioning mind to commit sin. Jesus is likely to be way more understanding of that than you, so allow Him some leeway.
If you who make mountains out of molehills (generalize) and take blame for every action under the sun (personalize) you also need to remember God’s reasonableness and quit beating yourself up. Your job is to sincerely confess, receive absolution, and then do as St. Francis de Sales instructed, “Think no more about it.”
Obsessive-compulsions can be quite embarrassing to confess, especially if they are sexual in nature. Though I’m sure hurting yourself regularly via your compulsions can also be embarrassing. By the way, those repetitive intrusive thoughts you are trying desperately to push out of your mind are not sin. Ask the priest. Reread the section on bipolar because the same applies to you and remember, once you confess, “think no more about it” —even if you forgot to confess something!
Of course, there is that great sin of refusing to get treatment for your mental condition when you really need to. The Sacrament of Reconciliation is not magic, mental health counseling, or a medical setting so don’t use it as a way to avoid getting treatment. Refusing professional help when you obviously need it is prideful and against the ‘respect life’ mandate. Respecting life means taking care of yours first and then those close to you that you make miserable because of your untreated illness. Just saying.
Finally, don’t let the temptation of thinking you are the only one with a mental condition stop you from going to confession. The overall global statistic for lifetime prevalence for mental illness is one in twenty. Look around you with that statistic in your head. You are not the only emotionally challenged Catholic in that gathering of penitents!
Oh yes, that confessing to a priest issue? I have to admit it wearies me. Just admit it isn’t a theological issue for you. You are simply scared and don’t want to go. Well, you are Catholic, aren’t you? That’s why a priest. End of discussion.
Prepare ye the way of the Lord! Rejoice in gratitude. Then go shopping and decorate.
Picture of stained glass window in St. Dominic Church (Columbus, OH) by Nheyb. Wikimedia, 2014. Free to post for non-commercial purposes. Posting this photograph is not a statement of endorsement by the author.
What a timely and helpful post! It certainly covered multiple issues I deal with every time I confess. As a convert, I have no problem with confessing to a priest but I do struggle with anxiety about going to confession. Once I’m there w/him I’m usually good. If I’m not, I tell him so and have always received gracious help to make a good confession despite my bipolar tendencies that can get in the way. Thank the Lord for giving us this sacrament and thank you for reminding us how beautiful it is even with our idiosyncrasies and sometimes debilitating symptoms. Have a blessed Advent, Kathleen, and thanks for blogging; it has certainly been a Godsend to me!
Glad it helped! Was good for me to write too! Blessed Advent!
Thank you…I am not the only one. Have a blessed Christmas!
I have trouble knowing who would be a good confessor and/or counselor. What if you spill your guts to one with a lax or too strict conscience? Could I do that all over again with another?
If you’ve been absolved in the sacrament there’s no need to repeat. Confession and counseling are two different things, though I know some priests do counsel during confession including St. John Vianney if I’m not mistaken.
Counseling: If you meet up with a Catholic counselor (or non-Catholic counselor for that matter) that seems to be attempting to direct you against your faith you are free to challenge or leave and find another. That’s your right, period. In terms of finding a good Catholic counselor, ask clergy, catechist, or just the parish secretary. Then there’s Catholictherapist.com. Also, some dioceses actually have a list of referrals at their offices (ours does).
Confession: I only had a confessor once in my life– for 5 years. Then he was transferred. He had heard my “life” confession. I found him by asking around and listening to sermons. —-I think the most powerful experience of confession for me, that actually defined confession for me came during a penance service (of all places). The priest, who was very knowledgeable, taught in and out of our parish, and was quite a verbose theologian type, held a small crucifix in his hand while hearing my confession. It wasn’t for show. He just inconspicuously held it at his side occasionally rubbing his thumb over Christ’s body on the crucifix. I knew he was praying, for me and probably reminding himself that he was there as Christ, not a teacher. Very, very powerful for me. In that experience I’ve realized that it doesn’t really matter if a priest is lax, severe, even punitive in style or temperament. He is only there for one reason. Regardless how any priest is in style every time I go to confession I always have an etched memory of that priest’s thumb over a crucified Christ who forgives my sins. This may not help with your worries but I thought I’d share it anyway.
What about us agoraphobics who can’t leave our homes? My soul still needs salvation, just like anyone else.
Yes. And here is a place where the community could fill gaps by bringing you communion. More easily said than done because of stigma. Prayers for you!